What are you offering up for Valentines’ day this year? Are you excited and thrilled to share your joy, your passion, your very self with another? Or are you silently hoping and, perhaps, expecting your partner will make this day special just for you? To treat you like the Queen or Goddess that you are? Because you actually DO deserve to be treated royally and honourably – that is not in question at all.
What is questionable is whether one single solitary day out of 365 is worthy of the fullest expression of devotional love.
What I mean by that is, too often when we are attached to how we believe love should be expressed, we think of it in a certain way – flowers, chocolates, dinner out… And when that does not come to fruition as we envision it, we feel disappointed, unloved, not understood for what we want and are. In that place of angst, we will have our vision and hearts clouded by resentment.
We may miss out on seeing love in its many other forms and expressions though.
A man may not get it perfectly right – forget to get the chocolates or the Hallmark card – but are you overlooking the small ‘imperfect’ ways he demonstrates his love to you, on Valentine’s Day or any other ‘normal’ day of the year? Does he lend you a helping hand around the house or with the kids? Does he smile at you with adoration and play in his eyes? Does he take out the garbage? All of these are ways for him to show he cares, and as women we often overlook these seemingly small gestures and build up our disappointments in not receiving his love “his way” as we want it ‘our way’.
So my advice for V-day or any other day, if you want more love and affection in your life, is as follows:
1. Lead in Love.
It only takes ONE person to shift the play in a relationship, not TWO.
Whatever you feel is lacking – love, peace, harmony…that is YOUR gift to give. So, if you want more love…Be more loving. When you want more peace, be more peaceful. Too many wait for the other to act first, and all that creates is more waiting…a power play. It is far more powerful to fully express your love than to hold it back.
2. Show Appreciation.
Men are not mind readers, nor creatures without feelings. They genuinely love you, and if they know they are on the right track with what they are doing …they would do more of that. Let him know you see and feel loved even with little things. And I say show vs say, as the way to connecting with a man is through your energy and body. So hug him, kiss him, give a squeal of delight or a deep sigh of relief, if that is genuinely how you feel. A man will eat this up and be more than willing to give you more and more, when you let him know he’s doing well.
3. Be Intimate.
You may think I mean “have sex”. Well, if that lights you up and feels right, by all means, that will surely work as well. What I really mean though is, become vulnerable with your guy, tell him your deepest desires – and your fears as well. A man needs to know how to serve you. Your sharing your secrets with him will bring you two closer, and you will have what you truly want – to be understood, to be heard, to be ‘gotten’.
4. Be softer and slower.
As women, we are pressed into a very hard, masculine way of living most of our days. We are driven, task-oriented, fast-paced, we are really BUSY pushing to get it all done. Take time for yourself to relax, to unwind, to become connected to your soft feminine core that craves pleasure, nature and nurture. Slow your world and your mind, and just BE. Do it for your own sake firstly, and know that a man will love to be around that energy in you…it is attractive to him in so many ways.
You are a Goddess, a Queen, a Lioness, – all of which are expressions of the divine feminine love creature we all know lives within and wants to come out and play.
Remember to be just that and watch your world shift around you to offer you even more love.
This article was originally published on www.lionesswomansclub.com in February 2016.