I often hear my clients expressing frustrating comments like, “I just can’t seem to meet the right guy/girl” or “I’m too busy with work and family to be doing all this dating.”Let’s face it, dating can be daunting even for a confident, successful individual. Getting on the playing field of dating either after being in a long-term relationship or for the first time – can have even the most self-assured person more than a bit “nervous” or confused as to what to do differently. Heck, I’m single AND a relationship coach so I know first hand the many challenges in attracting an ideal partner.
Choosing to use a matchmaker has many benefits and makes perfect sense for a number of reasons.
Reason # 1: Successful, Smart People Seek Professional Expertise
Would you take your car to a hairdresser for a tune-up? When in doubt as to your next steps in finding a mate – it is perfectly natural and wise to seek out a professional. A quality matchmaker loves what they do, has your best interests at heart and knows that your success will lead to their success. They are fully invested in your success and take their “business” seriously. They have a laser focus on a clear result – your long-term happiness in love.
Reason # 2: Circle of Influence
If you find yourself, wondering where all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes are, consider for a moment, they are exactly where you are. They don’t know how or where to find YOU!
You both may have dabbled in online dating, gone on blind dates set up by friends, tried the bar scene or gym scene, maybe even passed each other by in the concourse – without significant, quality results.
So, what if both of you came to the same conclusion and decide to really be intentional with your desire for a partner? A matchmaker has a constant and ever changing array of eligible, pre-qualified candidates who are willing to put it out there – that they are ready for a relationship and are very serious.
Reason # 3: Discernment: Seeing the Forest with All Those Trees
What do you really want and what are you offering? You likely know what you do not want based on past experience and you have the big common values down – you know the ones – trust, honor, respect – and you understand there needs to be “chemistry” but still you miss the mark with the people you pick.
Consider that you are in the forest of “you”, that you can’t see the trees or even deeper – the intricate foliage that make you – You. Think about it – how often can you see the qualities or ways of being in another person better than they can themselves? Conducting skilled interviews with you (and your partner-to-be) a matchmaker will be able to discern more about you and your needs in very short order, increasing your relationship success factor ten-fold.
And when selecting a reputable matchmaker – do your homework!!! For matters of the heart – make sure that the matchmaker you select is a heart-centered woman – leading her love life – personally and professionally from values that speak to your heart – interview her, ask questions! Speak to previous clients, understand the process, read the fine print when contracts are involved and above all else, trust yourself and your God-given instincts.
And remember positive change does not often occur overnight – so be patient and gentle – especially with yourself as you artfully find your way to a harmonious, excellent and loving relationship – starting with the one with You.
This article was originally published on www.lionesswomansclub.com in September 2012.